A cold February wind blew through the cracks in the wall of Uncle Seth's bedroom. Lately, it seemed the cold wind blew through his wrinkled skin to chill his very bones. He slowly ambled to the mantle, grasped his toddy bottle and sucked down a swallow of honey--sweetened whiskey. "Ahh!" he thought, "Nothing like a hot toddy to warm chilled bones!"

"Uncle Seth," warned Billie Jean, his granddaughter. Billie Jean felt it her responsibility to keep a close watch on her ill grandfather. "You know that stuff has quite a bite. You should take your time with it."

"Now, Billie Jean, don't you worry yourself about me. I know how to handle my whiskey," he said. "You know, once during the War, a bottle of whiskey saved me and helped to free a number of Confederates POWs," Uncle Seth began.

"Really?" Billie Jean said. She really didn't want to hear the story, but she felt she owed her grandfather the courtesy of listening to him. She was still worried about the effects of the whiskey, so she sat next to him so she could take action if he were to topple over.

"John Cunningham, who now resides in Ravenna, Texas, and I were enjoying a furlough. We were on our way to Trigg County, Kentucky. Our horses need a rest and so we stopped at a little war-deserted village along the way. The only store open for business was a little saloon run by a discharged Southern soldier. His main stock and trade was some of his own Kentucky moonshine or as we all called it "mountain dew." Before long we had gathered around his red hot stove and were engaged in a friendly drink and the swapping of Yankee fighting tales. All of a sudden a ruckus began outside and then someone began pounding on the door. They said we had better let them in or they would burn us out! It seemed the saloon had been surrounded by elements of Colonel Bird's East Tennessee Regiment - Yankee loyalists! We were trapped! But I don't think John realized the seriousness of our predicament. He picked up a bottle and flung the saloon doors open. There stood a half a dozen Yanks, all armed with navy revolvers." Uncle Seth paused.

"Oh, don't stop, Uncle Seth! What did you all do?" Billie Jean pleaded. Her inquiry was just what Uncle Seth was hoping to hear.
Uncle Seth grinned. "Well, ole John wasn't about ready to surrender or die. He looked right at those Yankees and said, 'Come on in, gentlemen,' just like they were old drinking buddies of his. 'Drink mountain dew to your heart's content and I tell you it's the best I ever put to my lips!' At the sight of the bottle and the promise of all they could drink the 'good ole boys' from East Tennessee holstered their pistols and remembered their first calling - one that over came what little semblance of military bearing they had. Before long the bottle and several of its companions evaporated. The Yankee loyalists promoted John to the rank of Colonel Liquor," Uncle Seth chuckled as he remembered those days so long ago.

"Shortly thereafter the rest of the Yanks marched into town with a number of Confederate POW's. They also had a large number of local citizens in tow who loudly asserted their loyalty to the Yankee cause. These citizens were mighty upset about being arrested. They claimed to have papers declaring them to be loyal to the Union cause but none of those East Tennessee boys knew how to read - not even their Captain!

"Well, before long, the Captain himself joined us in the saloon. He asked if anyone could read. No one responded, so John hoping to endure himself to the Captain volunteered to read for the Captain. John followed the Captain outside and was presented a copy of the parole papers from one of the captured citizens. Slowly John began to read and memorize the words. Sure enough the Yankee Captain released his captive. The other citizens submitted their papers, John read them and they too were released.

"Well, John looked over at the Confederate POWs and winked. They got the message and began rummaging through their haversacks and coming up with any excuse of paper. One by one John read their "papers" declaring them to be paroled soldiers on their way home never to fight against their country! In a matter of minutes the Yankee Captain watched as his entire days work was sent home "never again to fight against their country" --a solemn promise which they were all willing to keep After all, the Confederate States of America was their country and they sure as H--- wasn't going to fight against it!" Uncle Seth slapped his knee and chuckled with satisfaction.

"With just a little more mountain dew, the Yankee Captain listened as John read our own "parole" papers and then allowed us to leave town too. Yes sir, I do believe that there was the best whiskey I ever tasted," Uncle Seth said as he put his arm around his granddaughter.

"You going to remember this story so you can tell it to your children?" he asked Billie Jean. "Wouldn't be right for my own family to forget what me and my comrades did in the War for Southern Independence."

"Take another drink of whiskey, Uncle Seth," Billie Jean said, "and keep talking."

© James Ronald Kennedy, www.KennedyTwins.com. Uncle Seth is a fictional character. His adventures are based on actual events as told by Confederate Veterans and other Southerners who were actual witnesses to the events described.